Indian parents want to send their kids to college is a wish most parents harbour. The societal moral pressure is too much for them to blurt it. Here are some reasons why.
Observations for why Indian parents want to send their kids to college.
I just finished my duties of an invigilator at the offline/physical examination centre of my University. These exams remind me of my board examinations. But there’s a peculiar difference I have been observing these days. I remember my parent (whoever accompanied that day) would be anxious while dropping me. A smile would greet me, followed by some cheering and queries. The queries sounded dreadful if the paper went south (भंकस). But this was the culture back then.
This seems to have changed now. When I see the parent dropping off their ward and making their way back, there is a certain glee in their gait and a relief in their demeanour. And when they come to pick their wards up, it is quite clear that they are weary. Though, there is the usual cheery “kaisa gaya paper?” but that doesn’t cut it. There seems to be some unrest somewhere.
My curiosity piqued as the days passed by. Though I knew the (toxic) culture that exists in most Indian families. A simple Google probe will reveal some telltale signs.
However, this googling wasn’t enough and moreover there isn’t any news on this context. So, I decided to speak to some parents randomly on my off duty days. I went up to a couple of parents while they waited for their wards to arrive. Posing as a fellow parent, I exchanged pleasantries. After a couple of minutes, I started warming up to them and asked them questions based on their disposition. A/B testing was the way. I would start with raising the goodies of the physical/offline exams and then depending upon the response would switch on to the negative/positive aspects.
The responses not only confirmed by beliefs but also gave some heartwarming news as well. Majority of the parents were tired of the online-offline charade. They agreed that it is unwise to continue the online mode. Prime reason being, by now, everyone knows that online mode is merely a facade/gimmick put up to ensure the mirage of education looks alive. Almost all the parents agreed that the online mode should be shut down and colleges need to be opened asap.
The Second Reason
There was another reason for parents wanting to send their kids to college. This came after much coaxing, cajoling, and persuasion. In fact, this was my initial hypothesis : The familial structure and environment. It is quite commonly observed that a family goes through turbulence when the kids become teenagers. When the kids become teenagers their interaction with the world expands. This interaction is independent of the familial surveillance and supervision. The free spirited teenagers then interact with people who have different set of socio-economic-cultural values. It is here that their values, morals, and ethics collide with those that are different from theirs. As they are good learners, they pick up these values resulting in a clash at homes.
We shall not delve into judging whose morals and ethics are right. But the thing to observe is that, most households are strictly patriarchal with no flexibility or democracy to accept such behavior of the teenager. The environment makes the teen want to be out of home and the parents wanting their kid to be in college. All to avoid any clashes. The inability of the parents to handle the youngsters results in frequent misunderstandings. On observing the non adherence to the familial customs and traditions, the patience of parents starts thinning. This results in constant tiffs and heated arguments.
There has been an alarming rise in the incidents of domestic violence all over the globe during this pandemic. A lack of child support system like the USA results discourages any sort of reports on Child Abuse. As a result, a lot of cases have gone unreported. Secondly, most parents consider these clashes and misunderstandings as a phase of college life. Very rarely does anyone find Indian parents trying to reconcile.
There are very few avenues where parents and teenagers can get help in these regards. As a result, a lot remains unspoken. So, when the kids start spending most of their time at home, the parents wish they would remain in college and not be a pain to handle.
After a week’s research and sting operation-like interviewing the parents, one can conclude on preliminary premises that there are two major reasons in parents wanting to send their kids to college asap. Firstly, the lack of faith in online mode and second the familial atmosphere owing to various factors as mentioned above.
I do understand that the above stated factors may not be complete and that there may be several more reasons for this. If you would like to share those reasons, please do so by contacting us.